Are You Your Own Dark Matter? The Hidden Forces Shaping Your Universe

We talk a lot about the universe's great mysteries: black holes, unexplored galaxies and of course, dark matter. This invisible, undetectable substance makes up about 27% of the universe, yet we only know it exists because of its profound gravitational pull on everything we can see. It’s the silent, unseen architect of galaxies, stars, and cosmic structures.

But what if I told you that, in a profound way, you are your own dark matter?

Think about it. We navigate our daily lives, making decisions, feeling emotions, chasing dreams. We believe we know ourselves, right? But just like the universe, there are vast, unseen forces within us that exert incredible influence on our experiences, behaviors, and even our wildest dreams.

Let's explore where your "dark matter" might be hiding:

The Unconscious Mind: Your Inner Architect

Imagine your conscious mind as the brightly lit surface of an ocean—what you see, feel, and think in the moment. But underneath? There’s a vast, deep, and often turbulent unconscious. This is your personal dark matter.

• Your Dreams: Why did you dream that last night?

Often, our dreams are fragmented messages from the unconscious, trying to process unresolved emotions, fears, or aspirations we haven't acknowledged during the day. They're the gravitational ripples of unseen thoughts.

• Your Unexplained Reactions: Ever react intensely to something that, rationally, shouldn't bother you so much? Or find yourself repeatedly falling into the same behavioral patterns despite your best efforts? These could be echoes from past experiences, forgotten traumas, or deeply ingrained beliefs lurking in your unconscious, subtly pulling your strings.

• Your Gut Feelings: That inexplicable "hunch" or feeling in your gut—is it just random, or is it your unconscious mind, having processed countless pieces of information below your awareness, trying to send a signal?

Challenge: Think about a recent strong emotional reaction you had. Could there be an older, deeper, unseen root for it? What recurring themes appear in your dreams?

The "Junk" of Your Experience: Non-Coding Memories

Scientists once called the vast stretches of DNA that don't code for proteins "junk DNA." They didn't understand its purpose. But now we know this "junk" is crucial for regulating how our genes are expressed. It's the operating system, not just the “apps.”

Similarly, think about all the "non-coding" experiences in your life—the seemingly insignificant moments, the fleeting interactions, the background noise of your childhood. You might dismiss them as "junk" memories, but they often shape your fundamental operating system: your beliefs, your biases, your worldview.

• Subtle Influences: That throwaway comment from a teacher, a look from a parent, a snippet of a song from years ago—these might not be "coded" as significant events, but they can subtly influence your self-worth, your view of relationships, or your creative impulses decades later.

• Automatic Responses: How you instinctively react to praise, criticism, or failure often isn't just a conscious choice. It's a deep-seated program, built from countless small, "non-coding" experiences that taught you how to interpret and respond to the world.

Challenge: Reflect on a core belief you hold about yourself (e.g., "I'm not good enough," or "I'm incredibly resilient"). Can you trace its origins back to seemingly insignificant, "non-coding" moments rather than just the big, obvious events?

Embracing Your Inner Mystery

Just like scientists continue to probe the secrets of dark matter, we have an ongoing journey to explore our own inner universe. We might never fully map every corner of our unconscious or trace every single "non-coding" influence, but the act of looking is transformative.

By acknowledging that there's more to us than meets the eye—even our own eye—we open ourselves to:

• Greater Self-Compassion: Understanding that unseen forces are at play can help us be less judgmental of our own behaviors and emotions.

• Deeper Personal Growth: Shining a light on our "dark matter" allows us to identify and perhaps re-pattern those invisible influences that no longer serve us.

• Richer Connections: Recognizing the complexity within ourselves can foster empathy for the unseen struggles and motivations in others.

So, the next time you find yourself wondering why you did something, felt something, or dreamt something, pause. You're not just a collection of visible choices; you're a complex, beautiful universe, held together and influenced by your own profound and mysterious dark matter.

©Lisa King, MS, LPC, NCC