Survival Mode in the Sanctuary: How the 4Fs Drive Religious Trauma

When we think of trauma responses—Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn—we often imagine reactions to physical danger. However, the nervous system does not distinguish between a physical threat (like a tiger chasing you) and a psychological or existential threat (like the fear of eternal damnation or ostracization from your community).

For survivors of religious trauma or adverse religious experiences, the body often remains in a state of high alert long after leaving the toxic environment. These responses are not signs of spiritual failure or a lack of faith; they are biological survival mechanisms designed to keep you safe.

Here is how these four responses play out in the context of religious trauma, why they keep us stuck, and how we can move from reactive survival to responsive living.

The 4 Trauma Responses in Religious Contexts

According to Pete Walker, a leading expert on Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), trauma survivors often over-rely on specific survival responses. In a religious context, these behaviors are often reinforced as "piety" or "righteousness," making them harder to identify.

1. Fight: The Defender

The Fight response is driven by the belief that power and control are necessary to guarantee safety. In religious trauma, this isn't just physical aggression; it is often intellectual or verbal dominance.

• What it looks like:

• Rigid Dogmatism: Becoming hyper-critical of others' beliefs or maintaining black-and-white thinking to feel secure.

• Moral Superiority: Using scripture or theology as a weapon to shame others or oneself ("I must be perfect to be safe").

• Controlling Behavior: attempting to micromanage the behavior of family members to ensure they don't "sin," driven by a terror of consequences.

• The Trap: It creates a false sense of safety through domination but prevents genuine vulnerability and connection.

2. Flight: The Perfectionist

The Flight response is characterized by the urge to flee or to stay constantly busy to avoid feeling underlying terror or shame.

• What it looks like:

• Spiritual Bypassing: rushing to "positive vibes" or "God’s plan" to avoid sitting with grief, anger, or pain.

• Over-Volunteering: Obsessive involvement in church activities to prove worthiness or "earn" safety.

• Intellectualizing: analyzing theology endlessly to avoid feeling the emotions associated with the trauma.

• The Trap: It reinforces the belief that you are only safe or lovable as long as you are performing or achieving.

3. Freeze: The Dissociator

The Freeze response occurs when the nervous system decides that neither fighting nor fleeing is possible. It is a collapse response, often labeled in religious circles as "waiting on the Lord" or "submission."

• What it looks like:

• Analysis Paralysis: An inability to make simple life decisions (like taking a job or moving) without a clear "sign from God," stemming from a fear of making the "wrong" choice.

• Dissociation: Zoning out during sermons, prayers, or discussions about religion; feeling numb or detached from one’s body.

• Isolation: Withdrawing from all community to avoid the potential pain of judgment.

• The Trap: It keeps the survivor in a state of suspended animation, unable to access their own agency or intuition.

4. Fawn: The People-Pleaser

Fawn is the response most rewarded in high-control religious groups. It involves merging with the needs of others to avoid conflict and ensure safety.

• What it looks like:

• No Boundaries: Inability to say "no" to leadership or requests for service for fear of being labeled "selfish" or "rebellious."

• Chameleon Effect: Adopting the opinions and emotions of the group or leader, losing sight of one's own identity.

• Hyper-Vigilance: Constantly scanning the room to ensure everyone else is happy, believing that if the leader/parent/God is happy, you are safe.

• The Trap: It erodes the self. The survivor learns that safety requires self-abandonment.

Why We Stay Stuck: The Dysregulation Loop

These responses keep us stuck because they reinforce a dysregulated nervous system.

When a survivor encounters a trigger (e.g., a hymn, a Bible verse, an authoritative tone of voice), the amygdala hijacks the brain, shutting down the prefrontal cortex (the center of logic and reasoning). We revert to our dominant survival response.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk notes in The Body Keeps the Score that trauma changes the brain's wiring. In religious trauma, the "threat" is often internalized as God or eternal punishment, meaning the survivor feels they can never truly escape the danger, keeping the body in chronic stress.

Healing: Moving from Reaction to Response

Healing is not about eliminating these responses—they are natural. Healing is about widening the "window of tolerance" so we can choose how to respond rather than reacting automatically.

1. Re-establish Safety in the Body (Somatic Work)

You cannot think your way out of a nervous system response. You must show your body it is safe now.

• Technique: When you feel the urge to Fawn or Fight, pause. Use grounding: feel your feet on the floor, push against a wall, or use cold water on your wrists. This signals to the vagus nerve that you are not currently in danger.

2. Cognitive Reframing: "Then vs. Now"

Acknowledge the response without judgment.

• Technique: Say to yourself, "I notice my heart is racing and I want to argue (Fight). That is my body trying to protect me because it remembers when silence was dangerous. But I am safe now, and I can choose to listen or walk away."

3. Reclaiming Agency (The "No")

For Fawn and Freeze types, reclaiming the ability to choose is vital.

• Technique: Practice low-stakes boundaries. Say no to a small request. Make a decision (like what to eat for dinner) without asking for input or "signs." This rebuilds trust in your own intuition.

4. Titration

Do not try to process the entire theological trauma at once.

• Technique: Dip your toe in. Read one page of a book, journal for five minutes, then stop and do something soothing. Overwhelming the system only leads back to Freeze.

References & Further Reading

For those interested in the clinical and theoretical underpinnings of these concepts, the following resources are foundational:

• Winell, M. (2011). Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion. (Dr. Winell coined the term "Religious Trauma Syndrome" and outlines the specific psychological impacts of authoritarian religion).

• Walker, P. (2013). Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. (Seminal work on the 4F responses and how they manifest in C-PTSD).

• Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. (Explains the physiological basis of how trauma is stored in the body).

• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. (The scientific basis for understanding flight/fight/freeze/fawn mechanisms).