The Sacred Space of Shared Struggle

In a world that often encourages us to present a polished, perfect facade, it’s easy to feel utterly alone in our struggles. We scroll past curated images of success and happiness, making us feel like an outlier, the only one wrestling with the messy reality of life.

But what if the very act of struggling is actually the most profound bridge to true human connection? What if a sacred space isn’t found only in a cathedral or on a mountaintop, but right here, in the vulnerable, shared truth of our brokenness?

When Shared Scars Make Us More Alike

Life’s difficulties—grief, trauma, loss, illness, or simply the daily grind—have a way of stripping away the superficial. When we are forced to navigate the deepest trenches of our existence, we often find ourselves standing next to someone we might never have noticed otherwise.

That person who, on the surface, is entirely unlike you—different class, different background, different beliefs—suddenly becomes your most vital companion because you share a fundamental common ground: a struggle. It's in that shared humanity that the masks fall away, and we realize that the core of our experience is more alike than different. This isn't just connection; it's a profound, soulful recognition that says, "I see you. You are not alone."

The Holy Act of Witnessing

One of the most sacred experiences in life is not what we say but what we do not say when someone shares their deep pain.

When a friend, a loved one, or even an acquaintance shares a truly traumatic, life-altering experience, the instinct to "fix it," offer advice, or tell them what they should do is often overwhelming. However, the most holy, healing action we can take is to simply hold space.

To hold space is to:

• Be a witness, not a problem-solver.

• Be present, not prescriptive.

• Be silent, letting their words fill the void instead of your fear of discomfort.

When we can allow someone to process their own trauma and grief without inserting our agenda, without judgment, and without needing to control their healing journey, we create a sacred container. This act of quiet, supportive witnessing is a direct, authentic, and vulnerable human connection—a powerful antidote to the isolation of suffering.

Blowing Up the Surface-Level Culture

The tragedy of modern culture is the overwhelming prevalence of surface-level connection. We know of thousands of people through social media, but we only know a handful of people in a deep, intimate way.

This lack of deep, authentic knowledge is the breeding ground for judgment. When we don't know a person's story—the struggles they've overcome, the mountains they've climbed—it's easy to make sweeping, critical judgments based on appearance, class, or political affiliation. We decide who should be allowed in our lives based on difference, not on the vast, common ground of being human.

We have the power to dismantle this judgmental mindset by choosing vulnerability over avoidance.

Seek out the stories of those who have had vastly different experiences than you. Ask open-ended questions. Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.

It is through this intentional, non-judgmental knowing that we cultivate genuine empathy. Empathy isn’t just feeling sorry for someone; it’s the radical recognition that if you had walked in their shoes, you might feel, think, and act exactly as they do.

The sacred spaces we seek are not distant or hidden. They are built right here, brick by vulnerable brick, in the messy, shared experience of living.

©Lisa King, MS, LPC, NCC