The Quiet Strength of Humility: It's Not What You Think

When you hear the word humility, what comes to mind? Do you picture someone perpetually downplaying their achievements, perhaps even engaging in a little self-deprecation? If so, you're likely thinking of false humility or simple modesty. True humility is something far more powerful, a deep-seated clarity that acts as the foundation for all real growth.

As Saint Augustine eloquently put it: "Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation." Humility is that essential foundation.

Humility Isn’t About Self-Hatred

Let's clear the air: Humility is not disliking yourself. It is the complete opposite of self-deprecation.

Instead, humility is about radical honesty. It's the ability to see yourself for who you truly are—a balanced view that acknowledges your strengths while being equally aware of your limitations and areas that need growth. It is an honest assessment of your knowledge and abilities. This quiet confidence allows you to be capable and effective without needing constant recognition or validation.

The Power of Low Self-Focus

One of the most defining characteristics of true humility is its low self-focus. Think about it: False humility is obsessed with how others perceive it ("How do I look being modest right now?"). True humility shifts the focus entirely from the self to the task, relationship, or truth at hand.

When you're truly humble, the inner voice changes from "How will this reflect on me?" to "What is the best way to accomplish this? What is the truth here? What does this person need?" This allows for:

• Openness to learning: You become receptive to new evidence, feedback, and correction.

• Growth Mindset: Mistakes are not character flaws, but rather opportunities for improvement and growth. You admit errors quickly and are willing to ask clarifying questions.

Humility is Generous Towards Others

Because a humble person isn't constantly worried about asserting their own superiority or protecting their ego, they are free to genuinely value and respect others.

This translates into tangible actions:

• Empathy and Respect: You genuinely value others' perspectives, even when they challenge your own view.

• Giving Credit: You freely and publicly acknowledge the contributions of those around you—giving credit where it is due.

• Collective Priority: Your decisions consistently prioritize collective outcomes over personal needs and reputation.

The Courage of Responsibility

Humility isn't timid; it requires courage and responsibility. It takes strength to accept responsibility for consequences and to sincerely apologize when necessary. A humble leader or team member understands that their role is to facilitate the best possible outcome, which sometimes means being the person who takes the fall or shifts direction based on new information.

Humility is an actively ongoing process: truthful about oneself, generous towards others, and always learning. It is the bedrock upon which genuine competence and enduring success are built.

©Lisa King, MS, LPC, NCC