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We Can’t Go Over It: What Kindergarten Taught Me About Healing
When I used to teach kindergarten, one of my absolute favorite times of the day was singing, "We’re Going on a Bear Hunt." The children loved it. We didn't just sing the words; we lived them out. We made it a full-body, dramatic experience. We would stomp our feet for the mud, run in place for the open fields, and dramatically tiptoe when we had to be quiet. We waved our arms through the "tall, wavy grass" and shivered through the "cold river." We acted out every step of the

Lisa King, LPC
Dec 2, 20253 min read


Same Roof, Different Realities: Why Siblings From High-Control Homes Remember the Past Differently
One of the most isolating experiences for a survivor of complex family trauma is trying to explain their childhood to a younger sibling, only to be met with blank stares or defensive denial. "That never happened." "You’re just too sensitive." "Mom and Dad did the best they could." It can feel incredibly destabilizing. If you grew up in the same house, with the same parents, in the same environment, why does your childhood feel like a survival story while your sibling’s childh

Lisa King, LPC
Dec 1, 20255 min read


The Holy Ego: Why Religion Becomes a Hideout for Narcissism
Drive down a specific corridor of the highway not far from my home in North Texas, and you will see a fascinating, yet troubling, architectural phenomenon. In a span of less than five minutes, you can pass at least ten different churches. Two of them sit literally right next door to one another. On the surface, this looks like a thriving spiritual community. But if you look closer, it represents something else: a deep, fragmentation based on the belief that "We have it right,

Lisa King, LPC
Dec 1, 20254 min read


The hardest Truth of Healing: Why "I'm Sorry" Isn't Enough
There is a distinct shift that happens when you decide to begin your healing journey. It feels a bit like waking up in a room you’ve lived in your whole life, only to suddenly realize the furniture is rearranging itself. At first, it’s subtle. You start noticing what makes your stomach tighten or your energy drain. You begin to identify your needs, perhaps for the first time. And inevitably, you start setting boundaries. You say "no" where you used to reflexively say "yes." Y

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 30, 20255 min read


Stop Telling People to "Snap Out of It": Why Major Depression Is a Biological Crisis, Not a Mindset Issue
We have all heard it. Perhaps, in a moment of weakness, we have even said it to ourselves: "Just think positively." "You need to try harder." "Start moving and you will feel better." This narrative—that we can talk ourselves out of any emotional struggle simply by applying enough willpower—is deeply embedded in our culture. It rests on the assumption that our minds are always under our conscious control. It is true that we all face periods of sluggishness. We all have days wh

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 30, 20255 min read


Fifteen Minutes of Eternity
If you’ve never been to the Mall of America in Minneapolis, it’s hard to describe the sheer scale of it. It’s not just a mall; it’s a small city with its own zip code and an amusement park in the center. Back in 2009, we were in Minneapolis for a huge celebration—my husband’s doctoral graduation. We were on a high, enjoying some downtime with grandparents, and decided to tackle the MOA. It was a generic Thursday, the vibe was relaxed, and we were browsing near Barnes & Noble

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 29, 20254 min read


The Exit Sign is Flashing: Why Every Fiber of Your Being Wants to Leave Rehab, and Why You Need to Ignore It
If you are currently sitting in a residential treatment center, staring at the clock, counting the days until discharge, or actively plotting your premature departure, I want you to know something crucial: You are completely normal. The urge to leave rehab against medical advice (AMA) is practically a symptom of addiction itself. It is a universal experience shared by almost everyone who has attempted recovery. When you first arrived, you might have felt a desperate sense of

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 28, 20255 min read


The Night I Slept with a Wild Animal (Or, My Great Aunt)
If you grew up as a Missionary Kid (MK) or a Third Culture Kid (TCK), you know the specific, disorienting chaos of "Furlough." It’s that strange limbo where you are technically "home" in your passport country, but you feel like a tourist who forgot to read the guidebook. You’re dragged from church to church, living out of suitcases, and sleeping in spare rooms, guest houses, and occasionally, in the same bed as relatives. The summer before my freshman year of high school, my

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 28, 20254 min read


When You Ask for Truth and Get a Slogan: The Psychology Behind Church Deflection
It is a profoundly disorienting experience. You have spent years invested in a church community. You’ve served, tithed, and built relationships. But slowly, you notice cracks in the foundation: a pattern of secrecy among leadership, a culture where "little white lies" smooth over conflict, or a distinct lack of ownership when things go wrong. It takes immense courage to voice these concerns. You don’t do it to cause trouble; you do it because you care about the health of the

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 25, 20254 min read


The Wiring of Obedience: Why High-Control Religion Inhibits Real Intimacy
For many who walk away from high-control religious environments—whether fundamentalist, evangelical, or strictly traditional—the hardest part isn't necessarily the theological debate. The hardest part is the lingering, unnamable distance they feel in their relationships. It is a specific kind of loneliness. You can be in a room full of people, or sitting next to a spouse you’ve known for decades, and still feel an invisible wall. We often assume this is a spiritual failing or

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 25, 20254 min read


Faith in the Fog: Why Certainty is the Enemy of Growth and Why I’m Embracing Doubt
We live in a world that craves certainty. We want guarantees, money-back promises, and definitive answers. This desire is deeply human; certainty feels safe. It feels like standing on solid rock in the middle of a churning ocean. But over the last few years, I’ve come to a difficult realization: that solid rock can easily become an imprisoned island. There is a profound danger in being 100% sure of what we believe. When we achieve absolute certainty, we declare that we have a

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 25, 20255 min read


Slowness is Safety: Why Rushing Someone with Complex PTSD Backfires (And How to truly Help)
We have all been there. The clock is ticking, you’re running ten minutes late for an appointment, dinner reservation, or flight, and your partner or friend is still looking for their keys. Your natural instinct is to increase the volume and intensity. "Come on, we have to go now! Hurry up!" For a neurotypical brain, this is a social cue to pick up the pace. A little shot of adrenaline helps them focus and move faster. But if you say this to someone living with Complex Post-Tr

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 25, 20256 min read


The Invisible Hemorrhage: Why We Cannot "Talk" Our Way Out of Complex Trauma
By Lisa King, LPC There is an uncanny, almost predatory phenomenon that many survivors of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) experience. It happens when your defenses are down, when your autoimmune markers are flaring, or when the exhaustion of simply existing feels heavy. It is in these exact moments of vulnerability that the narcissist—or the toxic individual—reappears. Whatever name we give them, these individuals have a radar for struggle. Like a shark sensi

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 25, 20254 min read


My Great Grandaddy, the pistol, and the Squirrel of ’77
Family folklore is a funny thing. Usually, stories get exaggerated over time. But in the case of my Great-Grandfather, Drew H. Williams, the written record is actually funnier—and wilder—than the memories we passed down. My dad recently found the actual front page of the Alabama Journal from Thursday, November 3, 1977. There, right below the headlines about gas wells and food prices, is a picture of my great-grandfather, looking stoic and tough, showing off his bandages. The

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 24, 20255 min read


The Brain is an Organ: Why We Need to Stop Shaming "Store-Bought" Serotonin
If you went to the doctor tomorrow and were told you had high blood pressure or high cholesterol, you likely wouldn’t feel a deep sense of moral failure. You wouldn’t think, “If I just tried harder, my blood pressure would go down,” or “Taking medication for my heart makes me weak.” You would likely take the medication to keep your organs functioning correctly. Yet, when it comes to the brain—the most complex, energy-consuming organ in the human body—we suddenly abandon biolo

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 23, 20254 min read


The Invisible Wound: Why Trauma Is Not What Happened to You
There is a quote by Dr. Gabor Maté that often stops people in their tracks during therapy: “Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” For years, we have collectively defined trauma by the magnitude of the event. We look for the car crash, the war zone, the assault, or the natural disaster. If we can’t find a "Big T" event in our history, we often invalidate our own pain. We tell ourselves we are just being dramat

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 23, 20254 min read


The Narcissist’s Army
It is one of the most baffling and maddening aspects of navigating a relationship with a narcissist: their impeccable public image. If you look closely at a narcissist’s inner circle, you won't see a healthy support system based on mutual vulnerability. Instead, you will see something that looks suspiciously like a military unit. The way a narcissist curates a "cut-throat" support system is a phenomenon that deserves deep scrutiny. To the outside observer, they appear loved a

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 22, 20253 min read


Stop Screaming into the Void: The Art of Conserving Your Energy
There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from trying to explain your heart to someone who is committed to misunderstanding it. We have all been there. You explain your perspective again, perhaps using different words, a softer tone, or a better analogy. You think, “If I can just make them see where I’m coming from, they will validate my pain.” You pour your energy, your vulnerability, and your time into the conversation. But instead of a bridge being built, you are m

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 22, 20255 min read


Beyond the Verdict: How Curiosity Bridges Gaps That Judgment Can’t
Picture the last difficult conversation you had. Maybe it was a political debate with a relative, a friction point with a colleague, or a misunderstanding with a partner. When you entered that conversation, what was your mindset? If we are honest, most of us enter difficult interactions armor-clad. We have our facts marshaled, our defenses up, and our conclusions already drawn. We aren't there to learn; we are there to win, to correct, or to defend. We operate from a "rigid m

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 22, 20255 min read


Born Free: Reclaiming the Spirit the World Tried to Tame
Trigger warning for individuals who have experienced physical abuse: please be advised. There is talk about corporal punishment in this article. There is an old song called Born Free (1966) and the lyrics open with a promise that feels almost ancient in its truth: Born free, As free as the wind blows As free as the grass grows Born free to follow your heart. All of us enter this world under that banner. We are born free. We arrive with a distinct personality already intact—a

Lisa King, LPC
Nov 22, 20255 min read
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