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For the better part of my adult life, if you mentioned football , I’d probably recoil. Not an exaggeration—hate doesn't quite capture the visceral dismissal I had for the sport. The roar of the crowd, the constant chatter, the sheer gridiron intensity—it was background noise to be actively tuned out. The only reason I’d tolerate a game being on was for the sacred trinity of the Super Bowl: the halftime show , the commercials , and, most importantly, the food . That was until

In an age of constant digital stimulation, it’s becoming increasingly common to hear terms like "doom scrolling" and "bed rotting." These phrases, while seemingly lighthearted, point to a deeper societal struggle with connection and mental well-being. But what exactly are they, and why are so many of us falling into these patterns? Doom Scrolling and Bed Rotting: A Modern Malaise Doom scrolling  is precisely what it sounds like: the compulsive act of continuously scrolling th

It’s a word we hear everywhere: narcissism . With the topic so prevalent, it’s understandable that many thoughtful, self-aware people find themselves pausing to wonder: Am I one of them? This question, this very worry, is often the first and most powerful sign that the answer is no. True narcissism, particularly the pathological kind, operates under a staunch defense against self-doubt, guilt, and the ability to honestly reflect on one's flaws. If you are reading this and ref

When a loved one confides that they are struggling with suicidal thoughts or a profound sense of hopelessness, our first, often automatic, reaction is to rush in and "fix" the problem. We want to save them. We see the pain, and we desperately want to eliminate it—for them, and perhaps, for the fear it ignites in us. But what if the most powerful thing we could do is stop trying to fix  and start trying to understand ? Seeing the Person, Not the Problem Often, the expressions

When we speak of trauma healing , the focus is often rightly placed on the pain we have received. Whether it’s the sharp, defining moment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), the pervasive scar tissue of Complex PTSD (CPTSD), or the slow, cumulative impact of general trauma, the journey inward to reclaim ourselves is paramount. Yet, there is a vital, often overlooked, chapter in this healing narrative: taking responsibility for the wounds we have unintentionally inflicte

Trauma healing is often portrayed as a linear journey—a clear path from woundedness to wholeness. But the reality is far more complex, especially when the people who hurt us are still a part of our lives, or still exhibit the very behaviors that caused the pain in the first place. This is where the true isolation of healing sets in. You’ve done the hard work. You’ve processed the pain, acknowledged the wound, and maybe even had the difficult conversations. You may have even r

We live in a world obsessed with speed and convenience . From same-day delivery to instant answers, we've been conditioned to expect quick fixes for everything—even the deep, intricate work of trauma healing . If you've ever started on the path to recovering from past trauma, you know the all-too-common refrain: “Why can’t you just get over it? It’s in the past.”   This sentiment, often spoken with good intentions, completely misses the mark on what trauma is and how the huma

Loving someone with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)  is a profound act of dedication. When that person is also navigating the challenges of substance use , the path can feel overwhelming, complex, and deeply exhausting. As a loving supporter, your well-being is not a luxury—it’s the foundation for your ability to be present. The key to navigating this dual challenge isn't "tough love" or control; it's compassionate accountability —a framework built on clear, ki

In a world that often pressures us to conform, there's a unique magic in those who dare to be different. The "weird," the "misfits," the "outsiders," and the "loners"—these are often the individuals with the biggest hearts and the brightest minds, destined not to fit in, but to stand out. As Dr. Seuss so eloquently put it, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" This sentiment is beautifully captured in the iconic 80s film, The Breakfast Club. Five seemingly disparate h

It's supposed to be a place of sanctuary , a community where you can lay down your burdens and find genuine support. Yet, for many, the church environment can morph into something far more difficult: a breeding ground for gossip  and silent, suffocating judgment. The Irony of the Inner Circle You’ve had an honest, painful interaction. Someone close to you—a family member, a trusted friend within the church—has done something that genuinely upset you. Needing to process this h

A devotion  offered, but the heart still yearns, For the primary place  for which my spirit burns. I’ve seen the others, the ministries that gleam, The endless calls that interrupt the dream. I didn't sign up to wait upon the fringe , To gather crumbs where richer meals impinge. To be the afterthought , the candle burning low, While all the brightest praise to other altars flow. The altar of the ministry , it stands so tall, They give their strength, their time, they give the

Every relationship—be it intimate, professional, or personal—experiences friction. However, understanding the distinction between a relationship struggling with unhealthy behaviors  and one defined by toxic patterns  is critical for self-preservation and growth. The Root Cause: Immaturity Versus Manipulation The main difference between these relationship states often lies in the intention  and consistency  behind the behavior. Unhealthy behavior  may stem from poor coping ski

Shame is one of the most painful, pervasive, and least understood human emotions. It’s not just guilt—the feeling that you did something bad—but the agonizing conviction that you are  fundamentally bad . While often suffered in isolation, shame is a surprisingly powerful, contagious, and even biologically hardwired force with a hidden link to rage and violence. 🧍 The Body's Silent Shout: Physical Manifestations of Shame Shame isn't purely psychological; it produces a distinc

The year was 1995. Christmas in Taiwan had just passed, leaving behind a glow of festive memories and, for me, a sparkling new engagement ring. My fiancé had returned to the States, back to the demands of work, while I savored a little more time with my family. Our plan was simple and sweet: he'd pick me up from the airport in Texas, a reunion eagerly anticipated. Back then, air travel held a different charm. Pre-9/11, the gates were open, and the reunion at the arrival gate

The sun warmed our backs on a beautiful Taiwanese beach, the gentle murmur of the ocean a soothing soundtrack to our vacation. My youngest son and I, ever-curious explorers, stumbled upon a sight that piqued our interest and, as it turned out, offered more than just a momentary diversion. A vendor, with a couple of tanks brimming with tiny, darting fish, invited us to experience a "fish pedicure." Skepticism quickly gave way to intrigue, and soon enough, our feet were submerg

Imagine a single strand of hair, so light it's almost imperceptible. For most of us, its gentle touch on our skin goes unnoticed. But what if that minuscule weight, that feather-light contact, felt like a searing burn or a crushing pressure? For millions living with chronic pain and certain autoimmune conditions, this isn't a hypothetical nightmare, but a daily reality. This seemingly impossible scenario sheds light on the profound impact of an overactivated autonomic nervous

The words religious abuse  and spiritual abuse  are often used interchangeably, yet both describe a particularly insidious form of mistreatment. It’s an abuse that doesn’t just wound the body or mind, but strikes at the very core of a person’s identity and beliefs. This type of abuse frequently stems from dogmatic, control-oriented religion —a system engineered to dictate not only actions but also thoughts , creating an environment where abuse can flourish unchecked. The Auth

When you hear the word humility , what comes to mind? Do you picture someone perpetually downplaying their achievements, perhaps even engaging in a little self-deprecation? If so, you're likely thinking of false humility  or simple modesty . True humility is something far more powerful, a deep-seated clarity that acts as the foundation for all real growth. As Saint Augustine  eloquently put it: "Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the c

It was five years  after my husband’s multiple myeloma diagnosis. Five years after the stem cell transplant that gave us back our life. Now, every year, we return to the oncology clinic for his re-staging, and every year, the anxiety is the same. It’s a moment of truth, the yearly reckoning. This particular day, we were in the waiting room, anxiously anticipating the bone marrow biopsy . I was trying to lose myself in a book, a shield against the tension that hummed in the ai

It can be baffling and deeply painful when someone we care about starts to withdraw. They might stop answering calls, avoid social gatherings, or seemingly cut themselves off  from people who love them. For those who have experienced trauma , especially complex trauma  (which is repeated or prolonged trauma), this isolation isn't a rejection—it's often a desperate act of self-preservation. The reasons behind this emotional wall are rooted in a deep disruption of their sense o